Gratitude
I had a conversation while onboarding new coworkers a while back, I don't remember the specific details but was talking about how I get a little too grumpy and complaining when explaining our systems at work and asked what the opposite of complaining was. Someone replied, "maybe gratitude?"
Haven't really been able to get it out of my head. It's such a good balance to complaining.
I'm drawn to where things are going wrong and thinking of ways to fix them- so it makes me have Complaints. It makes me grumpy when there are problems and issues that we can solve if we Just do something about it. I'm not just a whiner though, I love being hands on and trying to fix things whenever I can. Of course, this does lead me to getting a bit bitter when things are broken or function in a weird way that can be fixed that I'm prevented from fixing.
I don't just mean computer systems either, I've definitely gotten into my share of arguments in spaces about how they're ran and what to do to fix them too.
It's challenging to stay focused on the right thing and to not get too deep with complaining where efforts to improve situations become shallower than the complaints- the catharsis of complaining can be a hell of a drug.
Gratitude. I don't think it helps navigate my issues but it is really important to make sure whatever you're doing is done in a way that respects those who deserve it.
People don't always do the right thing, or maybe circumstances had it be the right thing at the time, but it doesn't mean work they did isn't worth of gratitude. Maybe some of their work go through some difficult things you don't have to think through anymore. Maybe it was a total failure but the failure provides guidance for what to do next. You don't need to make enemies with people who have done time in the areas you need to fix.
I've always seen people pushing a kind of positivity that requires you ignore being critical of what you're seeing- I wholly reject that- but I do think being too critical can end up being more discouraging than helpful. You need to balance criticism with direction to do better things and point towards the better things people are building now. I think gratitude can help bridge those things too.